What do you need?

So often it seems that there is something in our mindset that is blocking us, an attitude or a belief but, when we actually go into it and explore the logistics of something the solution is much simpler that we first imagined.

I’ve a card on my wall with a saying, it says

‘It’s not the mountains ahead that wear you down, it’s the grain of sand in your shoe’

How true is that?

Like so many people I can get a bit ‘Heath Robinson’ about things, using anything and everything, except the correct tool for the job.

I had been using various boxes to rest my feet on under my desk, they were too solid, too high and, basically, all too ‘wrong’ in some way.

Eventually the stiffness I experienced after long periods sitting with my knees at this angle was too painful and I began to avoid sitting at my desk and working.

This dislike of sitting at my desk was preventing me from doing all the things I wanted to do, as the frustration about not doing things grew, I became scared that I couldn’t do things, distracting myself with other tasks that I decided were much more important, like laundry and gardening, soon apathy took a seat at the table and then discontentment joined the party, soon I was feeling pretty useless and fairly low.

I wasn’t getting any satisfaction because I wasn’t doing anything I wanted to do, I wasn’t

sending the emails that I wanted to send
writing the courses I had been excited to write
sharing the insights and information I longed to share
experiencing the usual joy of achievement and progress.

So I resolved to sort it out.

Through my work I have learned to ‘listen’ to bodies, to witness the subtle messages that are either ignored or misunderstood.  I could have taken pain killers to reduce the stiffness in my knees, but I knew that wasn’t the issue.

Unfortunately I had disappeared so far down the emotional rabbit hole that my emotional state had become my perceived ‘issue’ and I had completely forgotten about the discomfort I experienced sitting at my desk.

I sat quietly with my ‘self’ and I asked ‘What do you need?’

I feel fortunate that my work empowers me to be curious this way and to allow the answers to come. My ‘self’ knows that I will witness and respect the answers revealed, even if I don’t necessarily ‘like’ them.

The solution came quietly and simply, as a thought, a memory of working in huge well resourced organisations where we were all assessed and supplied with ergonomically designed, fully adjustable foot rests under our desks.

What my body needed was the correct tool for the job.

Today my (maybe I’d better say our) new foot rest arrived and I am stunned at the difference it has made to my sitting position and my demeanour.

IMAG3302

I am now excited to sit at my desk and get on with all the computer based things I had been avoiding and really wanted to do.

So often it seems that there is something in our mindset that is blocking us, an attitude or a belief but, when we actually go into it and explore the logistics of something the solution is much simpler that we first imagined.

Clearly my body knows what it needs, and pTerry fully approves of the new piece of office kit too, which is always a bonus.

Next time you find yourself down an emotional rabbit hole, take a moment to stop and ask yourself, ‘what do I need?’ The answer may surprise you, if you let it.

Feeling blessed

I feel humbled to be considered as one of 365 inspirational business women.

Just before Christmas I was invited to be interviewed by the lovely people at the Shecan365 project.

Such a wonderful project and I feel humbled to be considered as one of 365 inspirational business women.

The project captures a different woman’s story, every day, for 365 days, in just 365 words, which is as challenging as it sounds.

My story is here and there are loads of other inspiring stories to read, with new insights added every day.

Enjoy.

The true cost of impostor syndrome

Is impostor syndrome holding you back and preventing you from realising your full potential? Read on to find out how to stop feeling like a fraud and enjoy more of what you love.

 

Imposter SyndromeImpostor syndrome is often accompanied by high levels of anxiety and feelings of self-doubt, impacting the person’s sense of their own worth, impeding their progress and preventing them from easily realising their full potential.

Impostor syndrome does not discriminate by profession, gender or age.  Anyone can fall prey as it worms itself into the psyche, creating an internal narrative that questions one’s ability, experience and, eventually, one’s very existence.  Thoughts take the form of ‘who do you think you are’ and present a less than humble view of ourselves, suggesting egotistical self importance and dishonesty. 

Trying to rationalise impostor syndrome is like trying to talk down a tired toddler on a sugar rush; infuriating, exhausting and futile.

Impostor syndrome often occurs when a person embarks on a learning journey and wishes to share their knowledge and experience with others, reaching a stage where they know more than the average person in the street yet still with more to learn, to master the subject fully.  Realising the impact the learning has had for them they take the courageous step to share it with others.

As a practitioner, instructor, teacher or sharer of information/knowledge/experience, we provide a safe space where students may explore different ideas and their own relationship with them, where questions can be asked and debated.  It is no teachers job to be the font of all knowledge, but a guide imparting wisdom, stimulating the curiosity of those who wish to learn, wherever they may be on their journey.

Authenticity is the new rock ‘n roll

It is impossible for  authenticity and impostor syndrome to co-exist.  The authentic practitioner/teacher knows and works within the current limits of their own learning, seeking to continually deepen/broaden their knowledge and allowing themselves the space and time to grow.

shoulders of giants

Knowledge + Experience = wisdom

Human beings are effective recycling units, accumulating knowledge and experience and passing it on as wisdom, providing a foundation for the next generation to springboard from.  The more we go through in life, the more we learn.  Impostor syndrome makes us doubt our own wisdom and prevents us from sharing it with others. True, we may not yet know the answers but we know the combinations we have tried and can pass on the baton to give those that follow a running start.

Impostor syndrome prevents that baton from being passed on.  The richness of your knowledge and experience is lost to history and subsequent endeavours must start from zero.  Consider for a moment the impact of that on your own life. Quickly think of 10 things you know about  because someone else shared their wisdom with you. From ironing a shirt to splitting the atom, all learning builds on the input and experience of others.

Impostor syndrome perpetuates the negative internal narrative that holds us back, reinforcing our lack of self worth and impeding our progress. 

Just for today, consider what could happen if you shared your wisdom and it helped someone else have a better day.  How would that be?


Tips to combat Impostor syndrome

  • Acknowledge how far you’ve come / how much you’ve learned.

Reflect on where you were before you began studying your subject of interest.              What have you learned? How have you changed?

  • Seek feedback

Asking for feedback can feel terrifying but it serves a dual purpose.  Feedback encourages your clients/students to reflect on their experience and learning, it also provides you with regular insights into your practice, what is working for people and how you might improve/refine your practice.  Written feedback can be easier to process but, either way, ask your clients and students for feedback on 4 aspects:

  1. What did they learn
  2. What did they enjoy
  3. What didn’t they enjoy
  4. What changes could you make to improve their experience
  • Make a record of ALL your achievements

From learning to walk to passing your last exam, from getting out of bed on a challenging day to working with your first client/student.  Recording and reviewing personal achievements creates a firm foundation from which to build self confidence plus it’s a great tool to get you back on track on a difficult day.

  • Talk about it

You will be amazed how many of the people you respect and admire have experienced impostor syndrome. Allow yourself to learn from them and stand on the shoulders of giants.


Impostor syndrome is one of the unhelpful belief systems I help people to acknowledge, address and change in my 1-2-1 kinesiology clinic sessions.

When you’re ready to step into your true self and realise your full potential, please get in touch to find out how.

I look forward to working with you